I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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