He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
