I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
time to smoke my breakfast
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
