Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
