hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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