don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
