yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
