Do you still have your period?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
