just come out here and I will go home with you...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
