I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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