who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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