Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
