i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
