when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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