my soul wont recognize me after tonight
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
