Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do vagina's smell?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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