I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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