People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
