I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize