Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
