What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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