May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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