I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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