Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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