i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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