New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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