If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
