Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
