Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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