just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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