Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize