16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize