You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
