Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A+ Viking dick
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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