Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
