margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize