There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
