we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
