ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
