I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
