Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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