they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
this boner is exhausting
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
