return my video game
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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