Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
