We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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