we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
BRING THE BAGELS
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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