I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize