i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize