so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
