Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I am spending my child support on dildos
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
