Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
