there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
