His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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