question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
