allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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