Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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