you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
