Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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