So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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