i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
