He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
