He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
