am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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