whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I deserve this hangover.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
