To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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