The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
