I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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