That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
